Post-Breakup Tips: How To Get Your Confidence Back After A Bad Breakup


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The temperature has let up a bit and “cuffing season” (couple’s season) approaches. This season attracts a plethora of activities for couples, and you may recognize that love is in the air. It’s just not circulating in your direction, well at least not lasting love. If your last relationship fumble has left you down in the dumps, remember, it happens to the best of us. But the good news is that there’s much more to look forward to after a breakup. If you don’t believe me then read on.

1.) Put on Your Traveling Gear. I read countless solutions to getting over a breakup from people who are experiencing a rough-patch in their love lives. One idea mentioned that sparked my interest is “navigating the Whitsunday Islands on a yacht” – well at least it sounds good. On a simpler note, visiting a sister’s house in North Carolina for the weekend or planning a small intimate and inexpensive trip to your ideal travel spot would be much more realistic if you’re trying not to diminish your pockets. According to an article from USA Today, “taking time away from work and routine allows the body time to replenish and repair itself.Additionally, in my opinion, seeing new concepts and fascinating places will less likely bring a former significant other to mind. Traveling is therapeutic, and you get a new and fresh mind-set. 

2.) Overcome Your Fears. If you’re looking to do something bold after a breakup, trust me, it’s not to try bungee jumping, dye your hair half green and half yellow or to make some other eccentric statement. If trying new odd things are your thing, then okay. But, you don’t want to be known as the impulsive one who has an Angela Basset moment from “Waiting to Exhale” every time you end a relationship. Channel pinned up negative energy into something positive like curing a fear of public speaking or joining that dance class that you’ve always wanted. Then, you’ll discover something you can be excellent at.

3.) Go to Starbucks. Starbucks will put anyone’s mind at ease, especially avid book readers, students, writers and etc. who enjoy peaceful alone time. And there’s something about a green tea, a comforting blend of chamomile, rose petals and soothing herbs and several flavored lattes that can relax anyone; try one and you’ll see! All their shops present a quiet, comfy and inviting community to jump-start your day and recuperate.     

4.) Follow a Weight-Loss Plan/Exercise. After a few pounds are shed, energy levels and confidence skyrocket and a new women is conceived. Why not? You deserve the extra attention. For every 10 lbs. you lose, throw in an extra pair of shoes or a hand bag to build your motivation. Remember, our health is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves.  

5.) Meditate/Pray. One thing is for sure: God knows what you need. His plans are to prosper you, not to harm you. They are to give you a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) So don’t count it a loss but a gain and a step closer to what God actually has for you. Post-breakups should be a time where you meditate on his word, pray and let him guide you to the next step as you begin to heal. If anyone knows best it’s our Daddy – lean on him.

6.) Cross Out Rebounding From Your Agenda. This was my first idea. Today, I heard a young woman tell her co-worker the same thing this morning as advice to his recent breakup. That was confirmation! (Amen) Someone once told me that “to get over someone, you must first get under another one.” I believe that is thee worst advice. Dating too quickly gets you right back to the drawing board and in deeper crap than you started with. It may feel rejuvenating amid the action, but it almost never has long-term success. You never give yourself time to heal. When you’re alone again, the same thoughts will rehash of your former significant other.

7.) Garden. Garden. Garden. Many people with alcohol addictions or other issues find tranquility in gardening. Check Home Depot for herbal seeds to plant i.e Lavender, Sage, Medicine Herb seeds, Cherry Tomato and etc. You’ll find yourself looking forward to their growth progress instead of looking for…let’s not mention it since we’ve done so well. Herb plants also have various usages in the kitchen and for daily self-care.

8.) Wish Them Well. There is a great release in letting go and ending things in a positive light while still accepting that you love someone. Hanging on to miserable thoughts will naturally make you miserable about ending the relationship. Never let someone live rent-free in your head. Instead, let go by wishing them well! 



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