Putting Yourself First Can Be Hurtful But Necessary

Photo credit: Think Positive Blog

The phrase “self-love” and “putting yourself first” can easily be taken out of content, especially if you take in consideration moral and Biblical factors, which tell us to put others first and to love your neighbor as yourself. But the term “putting yourself first” in this post means not allowing yourself harm when the enemy uses others to deter you from your purpose in life.

The process can be hurtful, but it’s a necessary factor in accomplishing self-love. If you have a heart of gold, then your desire is usually helping those around you first — friends, family, loved one’s…one’s you find yourself doing more for than they would do for themselves and hurting ourselves to please them.

Yes, all of them! We should help others, but let’s be clear; we shouldn’t allow others to take advantage – simply put. God never asked us to be doormats.

Right now, it’s time to redirect the focus onto healing and rebuilding because you’re not helpful when you’re broken. Broken means giving when you’re ran down and used up. This is the time to rely on God to be fulfilled. And in the process, it may hurt. No one wants to feel like they’ve failed someone in their time of need. But, to reach new heights, you must give yourself the necessary attention, love and focus. It requires believing that you are worth the time and effort that you would normally contribute to pleasing others.

That means:

1.) Not allowing people to drain you with their negative energy

2.) Being okay with saying no, when you don’t have it for yourself

3.) Taking control of your life and avoiding giving the control to someone else

4.) Being happy even if it’s just me, myself and I



The day that I finally felt like I was on top of the world and in control of my life, it felt good. I updated my Facebook status, “When you no longer want to deal with people’s negativity, they get angry. Oh well. #ShoveIt ‪#PositiveVibesOnly #InMyElement.” It sounds super harsh, but eliminating all negativity from your life is the next step in your growth process.

Never let others make you feel guilty for putting yourself first and not allowing them to cast their negative energy into your life. Eventually it will become your burden and your problems.

Set the bars for your life. Set standards on how you want others to treat you and take control of what you choose to allow to happen — this is your world. No one should be able to take that away at their convenience.

The day that I stop caring what the world thinks was the day that I began caring what I think. Thank God for giving me the strength and the power to let go!

Watching one female hip-hop veteran breaks my heart. And that’s Lil’ Kim. I’m so glad that she was honored at the Hip Hop Honors 2016 – growing up, she was always a lyrical mastermind who has given so much of herself to music.

Photo credit: VHI

It breaks my heart to see that she doesn’t love herself. An article about the star in Ebony explains just how much she is worth despite the recent changes she made to her body. She just has to believe it.

“But, some of you millennial dudes may need a quick history lesson. Google the words “Lil’ Kim,” “Hardcore,” “leopard print,” and “poster”…and, take some time to catch your breath, because you’ll lose it,” it said referring to Kim’s history.

To her critics, give respect where respect is due. Many are outraged because Kim no longer looks like herself and no longer resembles a Black woman at all because of the changes she made to her face.

According to Ebony, past interviews revealed that Kim has low-self-esteem. She said the men she dated in her past told her she wasn’t “pretty enough.” Her own father insulted her looks when she was growing up. And everyone who was a Kim fan remembers her relationship with rapper Notorious B.I.G. It’s been documented that he pulled a gun on Lil’ Kim at least once when they were a couple. Not to mention, he ended up with Faith Evans. All that could crush a woman’s sense of self-worth.

However, if you are a woman who has been through some things, don’t let it devour your self-worth. Put yourself first. Shout out to Lil’ Kim — you’re beautiful! It’s so important to take the time out for you. Here’s to the Lil’ Kims out there!

Writer: Taylor Bennett


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