Finding God’s plan for your life isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be the most painful experience if you are anything like I was, rejecting His ways and surrendering to your own selfish desires. This route is an epic fail! God’s ways are not our ways. The sooner I realized this, the better. (Isaiah 55:8)

Sometimes, people don’t seek God’s purpose until they are tired of getting beat down in life. Let me tell you, your ways aren’t working sis! I can’t count how many times that I was forced to watch God shut doors to relationships with people who I’d grown attached to, but the relationship may not have been conducive for the path that was designed for me. Those relationships weren’t aligned with God’s will for my life. And I knew that it was God who had removed them because of how drastically they were removed with no way for me to go backwards.

This morning, a friend told me that my ex was in a new relationship and had plans on taking it to the next level with her. This was a man who had proposed to me. Additionally, I thought that I had it all mapped out in my job with the State. But at a recent hearing, I discovered that God had closed all doors to every opportunity that could lead to a rehire in that direction. So what now after 8 years in the field?

It’s easy to take these types of things personally, to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and wonder why your plans haven’t made the cut. You begin to feel like a failure. But the moment these feelings take place is when you need God the most because those thoughts don’t line up with what the word of God says.  To be precise, His word says:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Last night, a pastor referred me to Bible study and gave me a few words of encouragement. To make a long story short, I was given all the information that I needed to know where I had gone wrong all of these years.

The message was that God will grant you his permissive will and allow you to have the things you desire even though it isn’t in accordance with his law. His permissive will permits you to suffer the consequences for living outside of his perfect will, which is His perfect plan for our lives. (Romans 9) I chose my own plans and never consulted God. It’s funny that we only trust Him with a portion of our lives, but not all of it. He can have everything, but just not our love life, finances or etc.

But the good news is, that choosing our own ways and having them fail often motivates us to seek God’s perfect will. This is the next step.

I’m challenging myself to live according to God’s plans i.e involving him into every decision and plan, filling myself with his word, and consistently praying. I’m still working on the music, however. I’m hoping that I can find a better choice of Christian music. But everyday, I know that he is still changing my heart.

Stay blessed!